Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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