The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Randomize
