I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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