Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
