No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize