I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Randomize
