I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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