I'm really into asian looking animals
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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