Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
