Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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