Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
