Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
