I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
