Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Can I color on your dick again?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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