so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Randomize
