Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
