I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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