Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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