Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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