Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day šš#pensacolaproblems
Donāt get me wrongāI love silver and braceletsābut handcuffs are not a good look on meā¦
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