College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
