Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
zippers are such a cool invention
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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