Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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