Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
