escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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