I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
