how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
