bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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