Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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