just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
