therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
