Where did you get a picture of my penis
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
