CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
My life is pants optional.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
