ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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