I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
This baby is an asshole
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
