GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
