I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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