saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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