Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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