my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
