kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
