okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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