Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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