I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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