the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
