I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Randomize