Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize