and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
