Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
