i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
love makes seman taste better
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She bit a glass in half.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
