He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
