where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
