You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
