Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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