Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
