a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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