i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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