oh god the rape fog is back!
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
