Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
he told me I talked like a deaf person
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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