Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i just google imaged poop.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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