Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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